Ian McKay

A writer with a particular passion for war stories and comedy.


Something Fishy

What happens on the fishing trip pales into insignificance, when they get back home. Their troubles have only just begun. They discover that the fifth man, Lover Boy Charlie; who, unbeknown to his wife, has not gone fishing to Ireland with the rest of the men: but, has spent the weekend back in Liverpool, in bed with BIG MARY, a sex crazed widow woman, has had a Stroke/heart attack and died, in Big Mary’s bed, from sexual exhaustion!!

 When they arrive back in Liverpool, they find him lying in Mary’s bed, a beatific smile on his face, and a big Spliff in his hand. They can’t decide whether it’s the sexual euphoria of screwing Big Mary, or the facial rictus of the stroke that’s caused the smile. Now they really have a dilemma, as they wonder what they are going to do with Charlie’s dead body! They decide to dress him, and get him out of Mary’s house, to prevent Charlie’s wife discovering his last infidelity.

Then the hapless fishermen find themselves driving around Liverpool, with Charlie’s body, propped up in their minibus, wondering what the hell they’re going to do with it. After a close call with the police, they decide on an unusual solution. To keep the secret of how Charlie REALLY died from his wife, and to spare her feelings and loving memories of him; they decide to sit Charlie’s body on his fishing tackle box, in his own front porch, ring the bell and scarper! Charlie’s wife/widow comes down and finds him sitting on his fishing box, still smiling beatifically; and, at first, she thinks he’s drunk, and has just fallen asleep! That is, until she tries to awaken him

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